Reflections 'The Day After'...

Yom Kippur is over and now is the time I get to enjoy the space 'after' when there are no particular demands on me, my studies resume after Simchat Torah at the beginning of October, and I have a little space to relax, and reflect, and just be... and these are my reflections:

What a marathon it has been. I thought it was a good idea to offer our own High HolyDays this year; having been a student rabbi on a pulpit in other shuls these last couple of years, I knew I wanted to be in Leeds, with the people who had been gradually coming together over this past year as a collective, grateful for their support and encouragement, so sure, I thought to myself, I could do this...

And, on the whole, yes I did. We offered Erev Rosh HaShanah, Rosh HaShanah Day 1, a Mikveh night in between, Kol Nidre and a full programme for the day of Yom Kippur, which ended last night.

And I think I can safely say I bit off more than I could chew. It has been a huge lesson in anavah, the Mussar character trait roughly translated as 'humility' which doesn't really do it justice as within it is a specific concept of striving to take up our space in the world; not too much and not too little.

And goodness I got a few things wrong. In my eagerness to provide all the best elements:

Al Chet for the arrogance of thinking I could do it all.

Al Chet for not taking my time to ensure everything was lined up and agreed beforehand.

Al Chet for rushing to create a document which had loads of typos and grammatical errors in it

Al Chet for not always focussing on the right things in the run up to these Holy Days resulting in oversight and gaps...

And yet, as the great wisdom of Mussar teaches us, we also need to step up and into spaces and give to the world the gifts that we have, and I am proud of these moments too;

The Erev Rosh HaShanah bring and share meal at my house was fun and jovial and felt really communal.

Rosh HaShanah morning was meaningful, and a comment I have held on to since from someone who came, "That was the best Rosh HaShanah morning I've ever had!" A young couple who have been regularly coming to all things Nefesh Leeds from the beginning announced at the end that they were expecting a baby, and with the joy expressed by everyone else there, it truly felt like Nefesh Leeds was moving towards being worthy of the title of 'community'.

The calming relaxing space of the Harrogate Turkish Baths, where we were able to use the cold plunge pool as a moment of reflection and intention setting for the year ahead.

On the eve of Yom Kippur, the Kol Nidre, we welcomed new people into our space and it felt like we were offering something really important that wasn't on offer anywhere else.

And on Yom Kippur itself, the image that captures it best for me was the reflective walk we embarked on; on the gloriously beautiful sunny day, not far from our base, with the sound of our young children squealing with delight as they collected sticks and rolled in the lush green grass, as their parents, alongside others, chatted, made new connections, all whilst holding the sacred space of Yom Kippur together.

We also shared silent sacred space together, prayed together, sang together, learned together and collectively stood with humility as we pronounced the lists of transgressions from our liturgy.

I am grateful for the support behind the scenes from friends, mentors and fellow rabbis., which truly truly meant so much to me as it dawned on my just how much work was involved, often at the eleventh hour, and I am grateful to everyone who came along to something, who added meaning and depth to the High Holydays, and are alongside me, through the ups and downs, as I learn and grow into this role.

And this morning when I got up and reached for my phone for the first time 'after'; a message on my screen from one of the Nefesh Leeds crew:

"Are you doing anything for Sukkot?"